How to beat Self-Sabotage

Have you ever had the experience of knowing what you want, knowing all the benefits and great feelings it will bring you, knowing exactly what you need to do to get there; and then doing absolutely nothing?

Or maybe worse, finding yourself doing anything and everything else apart from taking action steps to get what you want.

Finding yourself getting more and more frustrated and confused.

It can often feel as though there’s someone standing in your way.

That person may well be you.

Many of us self-sabotage from time to time.

It might be that you’ve seen your dream job, filled out the application and attached your CV and then not sent it.

You may have found yourself in a relationship that almost seems too good to be true and then inexplicably ended it.

Staying in our comfort zone can often feel easier, but it restricts our ability to grow as a person.

Knowing what causes it can often be a big step to beating the self-saboteur inside.

If we have a deep-seated negative belief that conflicts with a positive experience we are having, unconsciously we sabotage ourselves to prove that our belief is true.

If we grew up being told that “we’ll never amount to anything” or that “relationships only bring you pain”, whenever something happens that doesn’t fit our unconscious belief we self-sabotage.

So how do we begin to break through this glass barrier of self-sabotage?


How to beat Self-Sabotage - Mark Darlington


Identify your patterns

As you read this article you may already be identifying some of your own self-sabotaging patterns of behaviour.

Make a list of them.

Simply recognising those behaviours starts to shift the power back to you.

Question where they come from

While you make your list become curious as to what the underlying “learned beliefs” are behind your actions.

What is it that we could have been told as we grew up that make us act this way?

Make these your second list.

Are they still valid?

When you read back your second list, do you actually believe them?

Is “money evil” are all relationships “doomed to failure”?

If not, smile as you let them go so that they no longer restrict what you’re capable of.

Enjoy experimenting with this tip and let me know how you get on.

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